“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you.”
Matthew 21:28–31
I don’t want to!
It was a glorious time in our household. A time of unprecedented peace. A time of unrivaled obedience. A time when my wife and I found a manner of disciplining our oldest daughter that worked every time. It started with a brilliant moment born of desperation, Annabelle, we are going to close our eyes and are going to trust you to do the right thing. To our sheer astonishment, we looked upon her through the cracks in our fingers, our three-year old daughter, do what we asked.
We thought at first it must be a fluke, yet time after time, as we employed this simple process, Annabelle continued to obey. She would start out by responding "no" to any and everything we asked of her, then, when we covered our eyes, it was like we turned on a magical obedience switch that every parent dreams of. We no longer feared those dreaded words, “No! I don’t want to”, instead we knew it was just one step before she did what she was asked. Sadly, it only worked for about two months, but it was two glorious months.
As I read Jesus' parable in Matthew 21:28-31, I realized that it isn’t wrong to want to disobey, rather, it is part of living in our broken world. Jesus, as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night he was betrayed, offered this prayer, “And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”. (Matthew 26:39) Even Jesus, in His humanity, did not desire to do what God wanted. He pleaded with God three times that there might be another way, even knowing that there was not.
Jesus did not want to suffer the pain of betrayal, He did not want to deal with the consequences of sin, He did not want to experience the wrath of God poured out upon Him on the cross as His blood was shed to atone for our sins. Jesus asked His Father to let all of this pass from Him. That was not the end of Jesus prayer though, He ended his prayer saying, “not as I will, but as you will”.
It is not wrong to want to avoid the pain and consequences that are brought on by sin. It is not wrong to tell God in our prayers, “God, I don’t want to face the struggle that is before me, can’t there be some other way?” That is a natural response to having to deal with the brokenness of our world. Nevertheless, when God tells us that He will not take away our struggle, we need to say, “not as I will, but as you will”. If you are a follower of Jesus, God has placed you right where you are in order to use you to redeem the brokenness caused by sin. If you trust Him, He will redeem your struggle, just as the death of Jesus was redeemed to the salvation to the world.
Pray
Father, I know that you have placed me right where I am for your purposes. There are problems in my life that I don’t want to face because they are painful. Help me to do your will even when I don’t want to and to trust in your power to work out all things for the good of those who love you.
Journal . Meditate …
Be Transformed
What situation are you currently facing that you wish God would let pass from your life? What is God calling you to do in the midst of this situation? What has God done in your past that helps you know that you can trust Him now?
Daily Reading
The New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs in a Year
• Matthew 11
The Bible in a Year
• Matthew 11
• Genesis 29-30